Would other parents be irritated by this? Do I, as a stepmom, have a right to be irritated?

-OK will try to be brief: Step daughter is 5, almost 6. Bio mom hasn't ever really had an interest in her except to get child support from my husband and to "jerk him around" with the control factor. She's always pawning her off on other family and doing her best to keep husband away from child. I've been in the picture since child was 6 months old so I'm not the "new woman" or anything. We filed for custody of child about a year ago after filing over 5 pages of contempt charges on bio mom. She'd tried to file abuse charges on both of us, terminate husband's parental rights, and put a restraining order on me. All was dismissed of course and we went for full custody. She's found ways to delay it, but our Guardian ad Litem finally was assigned and has at least said husband NEEDS equal rights and should have had them before now. Hasn't given her official recommendation, but it seems likely she'll give husband full custody.



Whew! Ok so what I'm irritated by is that bio mom has not shown up to get child AT ALL this week! She has a visit scheduled Wednesday after not seeing child for a week (and not calling for her either) and didn't show! She sent her sister! Thursday when we got child back she said she hadn't seen bio mom at all! Friday for bio mom's weekend I guess she'd promised child she'd come with whoever was driving to pick her up (Bio mom has no license) She didn't show. Sunday I picked child up and she wouldn't say a word to bio mom while bio mom was saying goodbye. Wouldn't hug her or anything. She just gave me a quick hug, got in my car, and started talking to me like bio mom hadn't said anything! I didn't blame her after she'd told me she hadn't even seen bio mom ALL weekend and the only reason bio mom had come with her boyfriend to drop step daughter off was because they were going somewhere with their son and it was easier for her to ride along! We're starting our vacation time on Wednesday so bio mom isn't seeing the child for nearly 3 weeks! And she didn't even spend time with her during their last weekend together???



I'm just disgusted by the whole thing and I don't blame my step daughter for being so cold to bio mom when I picked her up. This isn't the first time this is happened and the sickening thing is that bio mom doesn't even have a job! She lives off of child support for all her kids (all by different dads) and welfare because she's a "single mom" even though her boyfriend lives with her and pays all the bills! She has NO other obligations that would prevent her from riding with whoever is driving, but yet she rarely actually shows! I drive my step daughter because husband works during the week and she just prefers me to drive on the weekends! The difference, though, is that he's always home when we get there and spends time with her! Bio mom, from what step daughter says, is constantly gone or sending her to other family members!sounds to me like the dad of the kid keeps marrying chicks with crappy judgement.
Yes you do have the right to be irriatated but all you can do is follow the rules of the court until he gets full cusotdy of her you have to do what is right on your end to prevent any problems. Now after you get full custody give a set time to show up to get the child give her an 1 hour window if she does not show up please continue on with your life dont waste time. Well your step daughter has to learn for herself how her mother is and the will influence her decision and feeling about her mother none of her feelings are influenced by you. when you go for full custody just bring up the issue keep track of dates and time even the things your step daughter say if she is like this then she doesnt need any rights at all!
you need to focus on the child when she is in your care - what she does at mom's is of no concern to you - I know you are knee deep into it... I know you care about the child but you are doing no one any good by putting yourself in someone else's business . . .let it go and enjoy your time together
Write everything down in a note book as it happens with the date and time. This will hold up in a court of law.

This is part of the package when you marry someone with an ex-wife and children.

Please don't bring anymore babies into the picture. Focus on your step children,your husband and yourself. You made your own bed...

Don't let this control your life and make you crazy. The bio mom sounds crazy,but there are always two side to every story.