Questions concerning marriage?

-I'm not going to ask why do men cheat or this or that. However my question does concern affairs/adultery/cheating.



I have seen this happen plenty of times and it baffles me like no tomorrow: when the husband cheats, and the wife decides to file for divorce, the husband then becomes the victim! I hear people say several things ranging from "she is such a child! to divorce of that" to "well she shouldn't have never gotten married!" to "she didn't even try to work it out"...My question is this I guess, well 2: 1)why blame the victim [like it or not the one who was cheated on IS the victim], 2) in such a case, does she really have to work it out?



Here's my other question: it's like for a marriage to really be a marriage, adultery needs to happen. This why I say this. When adultery happens, and they stick together, I always hear "oh this made us stronger", "we made it through", or "this tested our love, but we passed"...I'm thinking really? Yous husband needed to have an affair for the marriage to be seen as a strong one???



One last point: I'm a woman, so that's why I refer to the husband as the adulterer.Note that most affairs happen because other parts of the marriage vows have been forgotten, like the love and honor and cherish parts. So who really is the victim? Its very gray area, and its not like swapping some bodily fluids is particularly worse than ignoring your spouse in favor of your kids.
You sound like you have a problem. If you are married and your husband is not an adulterer, then you have no need to worry about what other people say and do. By the way, if there are kids involved in a divorce, THEY are the victims, not the husband and wife.