-Ok so last night around 11 pm my laptop crashed, so I used my dads laptop because i needed to use the internet...i didn't think he would mind because i have used it before. When I went to yahoo! to log into my account, i saw that he was still logged in.
His user name shocked me...it was quite vulgar for a married man. This got me curious, so i opened his inbox. Every message was from xxxmatch.com and the subject was something like 'you have received a private message from (her name)'. I was so mad, and i opened the messages...and from what i read...absolutely wants to bang these women if he already hasn't. And then I went to his profile and that made me even more angry. A picture my mom took of him is on there. He told her that the photo was for his facebook. Bullsh*t.
So I need advice...Do i tell my mom? And if so, how?
And I'm also thinking about creating a fake account to see if he will ''meet up'' with me. If he does, I will be sure to tell my mom.
So what do you think?
Also..I'm 16 and I have two younger brothers (9yrs and 11yrs) and one younger sister (4yrs)I am different than the other people. I would tal to your mother about it. There is a good chance she will already have feelings that he's cheating I would ask your mother for private time away from the house. Don't bring it up to your siblings or father about it.
fake account is not good idea,
i'm not defending him, but maybe he wants some kind of entertainment, i think as long as he is not cheating in reality (making love with other woman) it is not big problem
is he looking after all his kids? is he at home most of the time, helping others? does he bring his salary home? if yes more or less ok!
yes it looks bad. if you go to a church talk to your pastor and maybe he can talk to your dad about it. or next time you are on there delete it because if it is something he is trying to keep a secret he is not going to say who deleted my porn page.
one more thing to think about it is your moms and they are looking for someone to have a three way with.
When is his birthday? Their anniversary? Buy him or them Dr Phil McGraw's excellent book, Relationship Rescue. (I wish I got commission, as I recommend it to so many people!). As he says in the book, it isn鈥檛 only for people whose relationships are in trouble, which is what you can tell them. Give it as a present from all of you on their anniversary - or the next opportunity such as Thanksgiving.
Good Luck!
Perhaps he is just living a fantasy. Have you ever done that? Sort of going through a mid-life crisis so to speak.
I don't think it would be wise to tell mom about it.
Perhaps you might mention it to him. That might cool him off just a bit.
I wouldn't get involved because your dad might turn it around on you. Maybe do it shadily and say mom go into my yahoo account and check my message from my teacher and it be his.
I think you need to stay out of your father's business. Sorry, but it is neither your place or your job to monitor his relationship with your mother...no matter what.
I know he's your father, but what he is doing isn't any of your business.
You know those can be spammed as well and just being on the site is not cheating/an affair.
that fake account is a good idea...just put a pic that he cant resist (just not of urself cuz he'll know)
i like the idea of fake account. than for sure you will know and have proof that he is cheating.
dad having an affair? really? what's his name?
lol you should do the fake account
do the fake account
Holy shnikes, that's a sticky one!
Maybe the first thing you should do is tell your dad. Explain to him exactly what happened -- you used his laptop, he was still logged in, you saw and well, hey, he raised an inquisitive child so you looked further. Give him the chance to go to your mom first -- if they are going to be able to work this out (it may not be as bad as it seems?) then he will need to be the one to go to her, not you. That said, if he refuses to talk to your mom and threatens you or asks you to keep quiet or does anything other than saying that he will talk to her, YOU GO STRAIGHT TO YOUR MOTHER.
I don't know your relationship with your dad but do not listen to or allow him to make threats to you or place blame on you. It is not your fault. He is the one who has done whatever-it-is-that-he's-doing and he is the one who needs to come clean and deal with the fall-out.
I would avoid the fake account thing. That sort of scheming will do nothing but add drama to an already over-wrought situation. I reiterate -- it will not help.
I wish you luck with this one!
Wow I am so so sorry. I know this is tough. If I were you dont do the fake page. Instead do this
1. If possible print off what you saw. That way incase he denies it you have proff.
2. confront him first. Tell him everything you saw and that it really hurt you. Tell him that either he needs to tell your mom everything, or you will. And mean it.. Your mom DESERVES to know. I know its hard to pick a side, and you should still love your dad (despite his problems) but meeting people online for sex is not only disrespectful but also dangerous with stds and stuff. your mom HAS to know. Give him the chance first, and to confirm he really does discuss it with your mom after. If he wont tell her, then you need to. Again, have your proof.
AND TO ANYONE SAYING DONT TELL THEY ARE CRAZY OUT OF THEIR MIND
it IS YOUR BUISNESS. you have to live every day of your life knowing your dad is doing other women, and keep this from your mom? you will live to hate yourself and your dad and your life with be PURE stress... you need to tell your dad, or your mom. asap. OR
one more idea
do you have an aunt or grandma who you are close to that you can tell who can tell your mom for you?
I agree with one of the other answers - you should definitely print everything out. If you cant print it, try to take photos of the screens with your cell phone or digital camera.
Take the pages you printed to another adult. If possible, make a copy that you put in a secret place. If you can, take the print out to an aunt, your mother's mother or one of her close friends. If you don't know whom you should talk to, then just go directly to your mother.
All you need to do is say, "I found this on Dad's computer."
If you are scared, you can also go to cheaterville.com and post an anonmyous tip and then email the link to that tip to your mother from his email account.
I feel really sorry for you. Adults should not do stuff like this when they are married and especially when they have kids. None of this is your fault.
I wish you a great deal of strength and courage.
Also, don't talk about it with your siblings.
Ok well now your in a sticky situation huh. Ok i have to say you shouldn't have been on his laptop without his permission but on second thought he was dumb enough to leave that crap open. as for telling your mom your 16 you should know what that will do. on the other hand maybe your parents are freaky. Yes i would get the laptop and show her. don't make a fake user name that is creepy hitting on your father eww. even if you have good intenstions still bad idea.
I think you should tell your mother. Especially if they are married and he's sending nasty messages to other women. You have to think ..how many women has he already slept with? And then comes how to your mom. He could not only really hurt her but give her a disease. It will probably be hard to tell her, but she shouldn't be left in the dark. This is a big deal.
I hope it goes well. And good luck!
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